Aamina's bloggy blog

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2006-05-05T06:36:00.000-07:00

Rest in peace, Abu Jee.

_-_

2006-04-16T10:20:00.000-07:00

Look how bright the colors are, the pictures themselves aren't that good, but look at the colors! The bright, healthy green grass, vibrant yellow and purple flowers! The weather is gorgeous!

Hi!

2006-03-28T20:14:00.000-08:00

Who needs words when you have amazing pictures?
<3

It's been a really rough week. I wish I could say something, but I would rather keep my mouth shut, tightly.

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I love her so much. She left me for a week, the second I see her I get these uncontrollable tears. I love her so so so so much. But seriously, sometimes, I feel like I shouldn't of gotten this close with her, because one day, she'll be gone. I know I write blogs about her often, but she really means the world to me. She's perfect in every sense of the word. Her mother and father are so blessed to have a daughter like her. Life would be rather difficult without her, I need her smile and laughter. Okay okay okay I'm done.

2006-03-27T06:41:00.000-08:00

I don't want to live like this anymore. I want to be happy. I hate living my life right now.

Random, as Usual.

2006-03-09T15:14:00.000-08:00

So I finished my paper at 6 in the AM. College sucks! Coming into history, I had a feeling I'd be taking it again, but after reading the book, and working extremely hard on my paper, I feel like I deserve a decent passing grade. This semester has been a lot harder, and I have been working a lot harder as well. Biology is a killer, and because of that, I'm contemplating on changing my major to social work. It isn't official yet, but it seems inevitable. Enough about school, yo...

I finally lost 20 pounds! Hooray! And, I joined a gym! Another hooray! Never in a million years would I have even THOUGHT of the idea of me working out consistenly. Haha, looking back on my attempts of getting fit and healthy, I can honestly say that I was a bum! For me, working out isn't a chore anymore, it's something that I truly look forward to. I can see the result of my hard work, which is the greatest feeling. But, I have been slacking on my diet for this entire week :(. I promise I'll get back on it on monday, if not tomorrow. School has just been eating me alive this week!

Yeahhhh you know you love that picture, I don't know why I have it up, but it makes my blog look more interesting!

AHH!

2006-03-06T00:31:00.000-08:00

It is currently 3:32 AM and I'm still awake. I have class in five and a half hours. I hate college, a lot. I'm up doing this lovely history paper on Jim Crow Laws. This paper needs to be atleast four pages long, which is not the issue thankfully. I have enough information on this topic that could turn into a big book. I was doing great last week, outlining, detal outlining, and then I hit a rock. I didn't write a first rough draft, which is horrible. I'm basically turning in my first draft, did I mention this paper is worth 20% of my grade, more then the midterm or chapter test combined?! Insha'Allah my efforts will be good enough to get atleast a B-.

I am so tired. I want to quit. There is no way that I'm going to be able to sleep tonight.

2006-02-24T14:05:00.000-08:00

I hate my life. Life freaking sucks. Life can lick a nut.

I hate life, a lot. Things were going SO freaking good, and then one conversation will ruin everything. This doesn't have to do with family, for once.

I freaking love working out. I worked out twice today, and I want to go run some more. I love losing weight. It's great. I can't wait for the day where I'll be looking like some hot ass shit.

The Best Day, and The Worst.

2006-02-14T14:12:00.000-08:00

Yeahhhhhh, I'm awesome. I can drive whereever I want, legally! I got my effing license. About time, right? Haha. I'm psyched. Yesterday was the best day, ever. Someone that is really really cool talked to me for a long time, and I got my license. And I noticed that I've lost 13 pounds! Seven more pounds towards my first goal weight. I felt awesome yesterday.

And then today, valentine's day, I was reminded with something I don't have, and I hate it. A lot.

The End.

P.S.- Check out this sweet picture of Kayla and me :)

It looks like I smashed her eye, but I really didn't haha.

I look a little chunky in this picture. I'm working on it.

Random, yo.

2006-01-27T19:07:00.000-08:00

Ipod Love. I seriously thought it was quite lame to say that you could not function without this peice of machinery, since there were MP3 players before it's time. I finally broke down and bought the 30 GB one, and honestly, I tote this thing around everywhere. I love it. I wouldn't go as far as saying, "I can't live without it!", but it is a great invention, now that I can watch my beloved movies on it, and view pictures as well as listen to music, it's first function of duty. Though it came with a hefty price tag and some confusing directions, it is well worth it. Now everyone in my house, (including my mom and my dad!) have MP3 players. My younger brother and I have 30 GB ones, my mom has a shuffle, my dad a sony something or other and my older brother has a scandisk one as well. (Api- You would be proud, I was listening to Jason Mraz- a new favorite of mine!)

Everyone knows that my mom has daycare. Every once in a while there comes a special child, one that you make an instant connection with. I, have most definately made that connection with dearest Kayla. I do not know how I would be able to function without her. She is a beautiful, fun loving, accepting little girl who always has loved me unconditionally. I know, she is only four, but she could have created a close bond with my brothers or my parents, but she stuck with me. As cliche as it might sound, I thank God everyday for her presence. This little girl has reformed my ways of life. I was on a path of self-destruction and self-hate, and she, not knowing any of this, changes my mindset and brightens my day while putting a thousand-watt smile on my face. I'm such a baby, I'm tearing up as I write this. Half the connection was that seeing her, she reminded me of myself when I was a child, physically. She has the big brown eyes, brown skin and jet black hair, and also the wild, hyper, loving attitude she has. I hope when she grows up, she'll remember Ana and her knuckle sandwiches.

My old, dirty, but very much so precious blanket. Is there a certain age where you need to give up your belongings, which you recieved as children? I have had this blanket since I was about four years old, but don't quote me on that, I can't remember exactly. I basically take this to every sleep over, every family outing or just to the basement of the house. My mom always says that she wishes she never gave me this blanket because it is so old and I won't let her wash it. Yes, I know that sounds gross, but if you wash it, it's turns into a brand new blanket, and that's something I don't want. She also asks me over and over again, if I will keep it when I get married. Well if the man I will marry can not handle blank, (as I like to call it), then that man is not good enough for me. Sounds stupid and foolish, but I can not live without this thing. Auntie's as well have questioned me on why I keep this rag-looking thing.

One last thing. My hair straightner. This great tool has done wonders for my self-image and my hair, of course. Ever since I cut my hair way short, my hair has been quite unruly, curly and frizzy. Though there are some days where I would keep it like that, but I much prefer my hair straight. This particular straightner is amazing. I have had this straightner for about, a year and a half, and it is still going. Though it is on the pricy side once again, it is truly a great investment peice. It has done little damage to my hair and the end result speaks for itself. I have straightend hair with this that was the curliest that I had ever seen, West Indian girl hair, which was extremely long and curly and thick. If you look at Kayla's picture, you can somewhat tell how curly her hair is ( she is half Puerto-Rican and half Trini). I straightened my friend's hair in about an hour with this thing, and she had told me before I did it that it usually takes her three hours, minimum. I guess some of that goes to my technique, since I am the self-proclaimed hair-straightening queen :). But if anyone out there is planning on getting a straightner, and does not mind shedding a C-note and a half, invest in this!

My older brother, Omar, is probably the hardest working individual that I have ever met. He never settles for anything less than an A+ in school, and "tears it up" on the basketball court. He is incredibly disciplined, determined and smart. I remember when he was in high school, he would not leave his room until he knew everything that he needed to know and probably more. His room mirrored a jail cell for serveral months. My brother always made time to hang out with either me or Khyzer, and has always, always helped us with homework that we did not understand. Certain people may claim that he is not a genius, but I would re-evaluate that answer.

Mommy and Baba.

2006-01-14T20:02:00.000-08:00

I've learned a lot this time with my mother going to Pakistan. I guess I've learned more this time is because I basically have taken up everything that she does on a normal basis, including her career. Her life is definately not easy. Crying babies, arguements started over nothing, having the blame on you, staying up past midnight making school lunches is just half the stuff she goes through. I now know how it feels when someone rejects something that you have done for them, or supposedly forgets to say 'thank you' for cleaning their room, or making dinner, or washing the dishes for them. It is sad that now, that I am eighteen years young that I am realizing this now. I know my mom won't be reading this, but I truly amd thankful for everything thing that she has done for me. I know whatever we went through when I was a little girl up till now was for me to grow and become a better person.

My father and I have had our speed bumps along the way, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my baba so much that only God knows truly how much. We have our arguements, but the things we may say to eachother are just angry words that do not mean anything. I still remember the days where I would just sit there with him just to be with him, and try to help him fix computers, but would get in the way more so than helping. I remember when he taught me to ride a bike. He would put in so much time and effort just so I can have fun with my friends. Now that he is in Japan away on business, I miss him more than anything. I truly hate being here without him and everytime I think about it, I can't keep my tears back. If you are reading this baba, I love you so much, and it brings tears to my eyes just writing this, and that you may question my love for you. Me not loving you is quite impossible. Thank you for everything that you have ever done for me.

Brangelina!

2006-01-11T12:17:00.000-08:00

The reports are in! Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad Pitt's baby! Ahhh! I'm so excited! Just think about it, they are seriously going to have the hottest babies ever. Angelina and Brad are like, freaking perfect! haha.

Star Magazine has an exclusive report on it, so check it out!

I'll come back to update later :)

Life or Something Like it

2005-12-14T21:24:00.000-08:00

Pray for my mom and my grandfather! She's going to go visit him on friday :(. I am going to miss her more than I did last year.

I was watching the movie, "Life or Something Like it," with Angelina Jolie (of course, my all-time fav! and Edward Burns. It's about this guy who tells Jolie's character that she's going to die in a week, and Burn's character tells her to losen up and enjoy life. I think you all can guess this is another in-depth blogs.

It got me wondering: What if my life was taken away any second? More importantly, my grandfather, who is doing much better Masha'Allah (thanks to your prayers!), what if his life was taken away just like that? I know he is much older and has lived a great life and had great people in it, but still. He wouldn't be expecting it now to pass on just yet. I've got to learn to let go of grudges, dirty habits and just put a real smile on my face and live life to the fullest. Hang out with my friends, do well in school to get the career I've wanted to get, Insha'Allah have a family that will resemble the United Nations and have the time of my life. Of course, this is so much easier said than done. I guess we'll just have to take some baby steps into happiness andlongevity.

_

2005-12-08T17:48:00.000-08:00

I love my whole family. All of you.

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A family friends' son got married in Pakistan. Yep, the girl is gorgeous. Her name is Afifa, and about to turn eighteen, in about two days. I wrote that I loved my whole family because well...I do. I know everyone has forgot about what happend between certain family members but I haven't. I find family to be the number two most important thing, number one being Islam, of course. But anyways...
Everyone was so excited and jumpy to meet her. The car was decorated like your parent's car was when they got married. Their room was beautiful and clean. It seemed so traditional, but different because I guess we aren't in Pakistan. Remember, I'm not related to these people but I've grown up with them, so we act like we are related. I still felt so out of place. I wanted to leave just as I got there. The first reason was because I was dressed in my jeans and an old sweatshirt, coming back from a little baby-sitting gig. The other reason why I wanted to leave was because...it wasn't my family. All the girls were sleeping over, and at first I was begging my mom if I could sleep over as well, but I realized that this isn't my family. Everyone belonged except for me.
I miss those days where everyone got together and hung around and had a great time. As much as I talk about not liking my ethnic roots, I still wish I could take next semester off and just go back to Pakistan, and visit my cousins that I haven't seen for four years, but more importantly my grandfather. I wanted to do some other stuff there as well, but that's besides the point. Family means so much to me, and I wish it did to my other family members as well. But I guess this is what it's going to be. I'm only one person, and I know that I can't change peoples' minds. It just hurt so much to see everyone so happy and cheery because every single cousin, aunt, uncle, sister, brother, etc. were present. There were four generations in that house.

I go back to the now cliched saying, "Can't we all just get along?"
Pfft.

Music Update.

2005-11-16T21:10:00.000-08:00

So, its been maybe less then a week or more, I don't remember. I'm here to review a couple indie bands. I'm not going to say much since I have no idea how to reivew a band...so here goes!

Next week, maybe...oh I don't know. I ran out of ideas.

Panic! At the Disco- This band has a great sound. The lead singer has a good voice. It's much of a techno-rockish sound. They're pretty indie right now, but if more people hear their sound, it'll become more mainstream. Sounds a lot like Hellogoodbye. Download: Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off. Yeah, its a long name.

Motion City Soundtrack- I have to say, this may be my favorite out all the bands I talk about. Their sound is so different and the lead singer, Justin Pierre, has this great voice that can't be replicated. It's more of a pop/punkish sound; its great, seriously. They really need to get their name out there and known. Download: My Favorite Accident.

Terminal- Another great band. They are more of an Indie, rock-pop sound. Their sound is very soulful, and shows their true character. They are from Texas, and self-evident in their music. This is one of those bands who you just want to listen to all day. Think Dashboard Confessional with this band, they have the same feel to their music, but has more of an electric guitar, than acoustic. Download: Miss Louisiana.

Halifax- I recently just started listening to them. I admit, I found out about this band from the 'Real World'. I'd say they are more emo-rockish. They have a good alternative sound to them. I automatically think of Hawthorne Heights when I hear their music, they are very much similar, especially the lead singer. It's not a bad thing really, but I guess it makes them a little less unique. Download: I Hate Your Eyes.

'The Girls Who eat Their Feelings'

2005-10-21T12:38:00.000-07:00

So, everyone that reads my blogs has seen 'Mean Girls' or atleast have heard of it and know what it is about. There is a particular scene where Cady was looking around the lunch room and naming off the type of people there were, 'the jocks, the asians, the cool asians, people who wish they were cool'...etc. Then, she comes to a table where she calls 'the girls who eat their feelings'. I know I was laughing hysterically when she named them off and the named off the table who don't eat at all, sharing a diet cola, haha. It was great, and somewhat true about highschool. Then last night my mother and I were just talking and I realized my weight gain was due to eating my feelings up. Yes, it sounds so stupid to say this but it is true. When my mom was in the hospital, I ate a lot of Mcdonalds, basically 4 times a week. When my mom went to Pakistan, I ate fast food 4 times a week as well, probably everynight to think of it. And now my grandfather is dying and I just can't get myself to think about it so I just eat away and drink starbucks everytime there is a chance. This is horrible. I've gained a MASSIVE amount of weight of the year, which I think about atleast 3 times a day. If not, every waking second. When I eat breakfast, when I get dressed for school, when I go to school, when I talk to my friends, lets just say every second. I'm going into a nasty way of life. I'm freaking 18 and I already have high cholestoral. I'm taking after my father's genes, and I'm not too wild about it, to be quite honest. I hate getting dressed in the morning, I hate going to school where my three best friends are gorgeous, and get all this great attention, I hate the fact that I look like a slob and never take care of myself. I've got to start caring. I always say this but it only works for like a month and then I get fed up and give up. Me getting back to the weight I was or even losing more weight then that seems so unreal and unreachable. Its useless to think about it.

Schoolness.

2005-10-18T14:39:00.000-07:00

Yeah, i really thought i was doing good in school. I was getting Bs on everything...now i am failing my math class. I hate this. I cant believe this. I need an 82% on all my future tests and my exam to get a C average. I cant believe this. I have taken this class in highschool and did great. Im not used to doing so poorly in school. I usually get good grades, shiiit. I need to start studying two hours per night. Thats it, and lay off the tv.

Social-wise, school isnt horrible. I havent met anyone new but im not dwelling on it anymore, and i need to learn not to dwelll on stupid stuff.

yeah.

Listen up peoples

2005-08-24T00:18:00.000-07:00

I've always been a supporter of AIDS/HIV awareness, but after seeing the vh1 special with Ashley Judd and India.Arie made me want to help even more, try to get people to donate even more. It was by far one of the most depressing programs (that pertained to AIDS/HIV) that I have ever seen. I've heard and read that people are dying left and right because of this epidemic, but now really hearing the stories, and putting a face to the disease was just...depressing. There was a story of a lady who was 28, named Immaculate. She made this memory book for her 2 children, so they can remember who she was. She could barely move from her bed, and she had all these sores on her face which made eating so difficult. She died, and now her children are orphans.

It is so sad to think about this. It makes me feel so stupid for worrying about little things about my weight and grades, when there are people dieing of this horrible disease. I can't believe that some people dont think that this is a real problem, and just blow it off. Everyone should give SOME money to people living with AIDS/HIV. You never know how big a difference you can make with just one dollar.

My first blog.

2005-08-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

wow, i didnt really think that i'd also be sucked into this blog site. Api, thanks a bunch! you too, showieb bhai! hah. its alllllll gravy.

so i just got back from the atlanta, aka hotlanta, aka atlanta. It was awesome. I really enjoyed my time there with my cousins. At first, i didnt think that i would be able to go, but im glad that the ticket thing went through. I'd have to say the last dinner was awesome, props showieb bhai. The highlight of this trip was CLEARLY watching "The 40 Year-old Virgin", and that whole night actually. Kashif bhai's friends are a riot, from the undershirt thing, to the belly-grabbing; they are some interesting dudes.

It has set in, im going to college. I'm studying nursing, never in a million years did i think i was going to make helping people into a profession. I cant believe that I am going to college, its just that ive waited so long, worked so hard and the time is finally here. wish me luck!